Then, I make bolognese…

I’m sitting here on one of those big, shiny, blue balance balls. It’s supposed to improve your posture. I think it’s just redistributing the weight, but it is bouncy.

Anyway, I’m sitting here eating hamster buds — you know, the ones with psyllium fiber — wearing sweats, because its 52 Fahren!, and pretending to be doing this:

Beach Tubing

Hello! Mama Weather. Where did my 70 Fahren go?

I’ve got the keyboard set to silent running, so as not to wake the Golden Pup from her tenth morning nap. She needs her zzzzzz’s to make her coat shiny.

I’m eating the hamster buds as an antidote to the bolognese sauce. Is the plot thickening, or what?

You see, I made the bolognese sauce for Mr. G, honey. He was away at a conference for a few days, and I wanted to make sure he found his way home. Some put a light in the window. I make bolognese. He walked in the door and was instantly my slave — a sleepy slave — but all mine.

I tried not to drink all the wine before he got here, but I had to open it to let it breathe. Then I had to taste it to make sure it had breathed sufficiently. All I can say is that he shouldn’t have been late, when I had wine breathing and bolognese simmering.

Don’t tell Mr. G, honey, but while he was away, I slept in his t-shirt, wore his bathrobe, used his pillow and slept diagonally on the bed face down. What can I say. It was a claiming. I kept my own schedule. I’m almost embarrassed to admit this, but I ate a handful of chocolate chips one morning for breakfast — Special Dark, so it was healthy — and munched a bowl of Miss Vickie’s for lunch. Who cared. It was just me.

The first night, I watched three DVDs starting with G.I. Jane, so I’d be ready for intruders. After G.I. Jane was finished, I hunted up the baseball bat from the basement. Let’s face it. My core muscles were never going to look like that without two years of SEAL training. Maybe longer. Okay, definitely longer.

I stayed up until four in the morning a couple of times writing, reading, watching more DVDs and iTunes dancing. I became totally focused on this and had to buy the song for my iPod:

I wondered about being a dual contestant for So You Think You Can Dance and American Idol. I might have been a little wired on the Special Dark chips.

It was a total Elen-fest. I do that sometimes. Then, I make bolognese.

Do you ever do that?