Today, I discovered Mr. G, with mug in one hand and stubby pencil in the other, pouring over a catalog, eyes alight with glee. And, let’s just say, I felt compelled to write this letter……
Dear Lee Valley,
You’re probably wondering why I’m writing to you this year instead of Santa. Well, it’s about what’s been appearing in my stocking the last few Christmases, besides the traditional orange stuffed in the toe and the candy cane peeking out the top. Obviously, Santa has enlisted my sweetie to help with the Christmas rush. I understand this. I know what it’s like to be on deadline. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. And all that.
However, the sweetie has a relationship with Lee Valley that I don’t quite understand. Oh, I love you, too. Don’t get your tools in a twist. I love your garden implements, your repro-books, your hardware, your fun stuff for kids (that’s actually my favorite part), and all your bits. Okay. I even dig a couple of your hats, especially the baseball cap you can stick those deer fly patches on. Really, I might go hunting someday. And….I admit to purchasing a Christmas gift – or two – from you. Okay. I confess. One year, I simply phoned you and ordered everything for Himself and had it delivered. I did consult with Santa first, and we agreed. The fact that it was a busy writing year had nothing to do with it. I swear.
But, I digress. A few stocking stuffers I’ve received from you: 1) The Engineer’s Compass – I’m still trying to figure that one out. 2) The Flash-Fire LED Flashlight – I used the blue LED strobe-light thingie as part of my Halloween costume last year. The tricksters were in awe. 3) The Cable Clamps. 4) The Victorinox Swiss Card – the miniature ballpoint pen is my favorite, but the scissors get used the most. 5) The Collapsible Vases. 6) The Desk Stapler – Made in Spain, this is my most treasured LV gift, and the one upscale item on my desk. 7) The Lee Valley Jar Opener – Yes. Yes. I use it daily.
I could go on, but I’m trying to keep this letter to one page. As I write, Mr. G is downstairs making his Stuffer List…checking it twice! Revving up for that LV experience. Getting a little rush. So this year, Lee Valley, I was wondering if you would consider an alliance with oh, say, Victoria’s Secret to stock one or two of her holiday offerings – the “Santa Baby bling tank” comes to mind. And, if I might further suggest, teaming-up with a major book distributor for a small selection of Christmas reads. Something sized just right for a stocking. It’s the perfect time to settle-in with a good romantic thriller while the big guy is finishing the Christmas dishes. I mean, I know just how innovative Lee Valley can be.
Well, that’s it. That’s why I’m writing. I hope this gets to you in time.
Wishing you and your elves staff a joyous Christmas.
p.s. If you find yourself unable to fill this request, would you gently steer Mr. G toward the Pinocchio Tape Measure and the Tractor/Wagon Wind-Up Toy, or………………….the Spurtle! 🙂
Does this Santa Helper sound familiar? Elen wants to know. Oh, and if you’re reading this, thanks for being such a good sport, Mr. G, honey.