Roomba | Elen Grey

It’s March Break in my wee corner of the world and men, women and children have boarded planes, boats, and trains and hightailed it as far south from this provincial snow dumpster as they can get. They’re wearing shorts and tees, SPF 40, shaking hands with Mickey, and slurping as many little drinks with umbrellas as humanly possible.

I’m not. I’m sitting here in my office dreaming of a flat screen monitor — and now a Roomba, thanks to Vonda Sinclair over at Fierce Romance — and thinking about men in neckties. The latter is work-related, so I can count that as productivity!

One of my current characters turns into a little mush puddle over a tie-clad guy. I totally get that.

There’s something about a man in a tie. Oh, men are fascinating in general, to be sure. And, they look great dressed down, dressed up and, well…….. in all states of dress and undress. But, a guy in a tie — oh man.

I’ve been reading about the necktie recently and have come to realize that there are perils to wearing this accessory. It’s easily entangled in machinery, it’s a walking bacteria fest — the least cleaned item of clothing, who knew! — and it can constrict the flow of blood at the neck. The list goes on. So FYI all you guys out there, you need to wear that tie with some respect.

The perils notwithstanding, there’s just something about a man in a necktie. Well, hello handsome. It’s the zing factor. There’s that little mental zing! hum! hello!………… yum! Necktie or bow tie — hoo boy — it matters not.

Did you know there’s more than one way to tie a necktie? At Neckties.com there are about a dozen, ranging from the Half Windsor (not to be confused with the Half Nelson) to the Plattsburg — why is that a turn-on? — plus the bow tie and the ascot. Hey, how many of you guys out there know how to tie your necktie a dozen different ways? My guess is not too many. I can tell you that Mr. G, honey knows maybe two, tops. Go. See. Click on how to tie a tie. I don’t know what knot this fella’s wearing, but it’s working for me.

But, my favorite new factoid about the necktie, thanks to Neckties.com, is The Dimple.

Whether one chooses the four-in-hand, the Windsor, the half-Winsdor, or the Pratt (Shelby) knot, each should be tied so that there is a dimple or crease in the center of the tie just below the knot. This forces the tie to billow and creates a fullness that is the secret to its proper draping.

Note: For instructions on how to put the dimple in your tie, please see my July 29, 2008 post — Too Quiet.

It’s not bad enough that you guys run around with those cute little dimples in your cheeks and the yummy little clefts in your chins. No. Now you have dimples in your ties.

We’re toast! This is my character’s favorite tie-clad guy.