It arrived. The dreaded Driver’s Licence Renewal Application/Demande de renouvellement du permis de conduire. I’m devising my strategy as we read. It might involve a hoodie and sunglasses and face paint.
I’m already beginning to sweat.
From Best in Post ~
I don’t know about you, but I hate getting the photo taken for my driver’s licence renewal.
When the dreaded envelope arrived in the mail this year I thought… Already? Didn’t I just have a pug-ugly pic taken for the MOT? — that would be Ministry of Transportation for you non-Canucks.
I desperately scanned the form looking for an avatar option. There wasn’t one. A box for an optional retinal scan? Fingerprint? No. And no.
So I developed a plan. A little foolproof plan.
~get hair done
~zip over to the drive test centre, obeying all the road rules of the land — zip
~have a glamour shot reasonable facsimile of my pug taken
~pay up, and get out fast
~no freaking out involved
It went like this:
1. I had my hair tweaked for 1 1/2 hours before going to the Driver & Vehicle Licence Issuing Office/Bureau de l’immatriculation et des permis de conduire — really, that’s what is says on the form — so it wouldn’t look like something out of a Tim Burton movie, which is what my current pug shot looks like.
2. Instead of going on my birthday, I went early so I wouldn’t have a freak-out on my birthday if something went wrong. Also, so I could feel smug about being ahead of deadline, which spoke to the writer in me like a clarion call.
3. When the clerk asked me to step back behind the magic line for the photo — look at the yellow dot — I felt all hair-tweaked and confident. I stepped back to the counter. This was going to be a quality driver’s licence photo.
4. Then the clerk asked me to step back behind the line. Again. Uh, oh. I could feel a little sweat collect at my newly-tweaked hairline.
5. The clerk had me remove my specs — because they were causing g l a r e — and now… now I will spend the next five years looking like something out of a Tim Burton movie AND I can be freaking out pre-birthday, the day of, and on into 2014.
6. My licence pug doesn’t look like my passport pug, which doesn’t look like my health card pug, which doesn’t look like my gym…
Could we please have an avatar option, retinal or fingerprint scan option by 2014? I’ve got my avatar all picked out.
And that’s a wrap for Thursday, because I might be on the road.
I might be flipping the frontscape with the back garden.
I might be bench-pressing the dining room table.
Don’t inhale two squares of 85% dark chocolate at 11:30 p.m., especially if you lead a decaffeine life.
You will still be up at 3 a.m. thinking about making the garage door the living room window.
BIP is a new category here on the blog. I’ll be doing Best in Post from time to time. This post is from 2009.
2 thoughts on “BIP — I want an avatar on my next driver’s licence…”
I was for a moment worried that you had to go through this ordeal recently. But five years ago… Puh. Wait a minute, it only means a new renewal is soon up again – at least in a couple of years. Enjoy reading your encounter from last time. 🙂
Hahaha, Otto. Just so. That is why I’m beginning to sweat and reposted the humor post. If they ask me to remove my glasses this time, it will be — squench, squench — all over for me, and I won’t be able to look at the DL for another five years! Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.
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